♥
after so long i've been holding back those tears,
finally today i brokedown.
since i cnt take it any longer.
was chatting online with my cousin.
toking bout stuffs since we havent been toking to each other tt much,
ever since i moved out of macpherson estate..
decided to ask her bout my mum.
den from dere all th past was brought back.
th memories.. those hurtful moments.
I cnt seems to hold it back any longer.
i just brokedown right in front of my comp while chatting with my cousin.
I dun mean to be very evil or disrespectful towards my mum.
but its just so hurtful to think about my past;
my painful childhood.
ppl may say tt they understand how i feel,
but in actual fact they DON'T.
cuz they are NOT in my shoes. they dun FEEL wad or how i feel.
im not being unappreciative of things tt are around me..
its just th fact of growing up all tish 16 years
without th love &care &concern from a mum is just so difficult.
having to bear all th hardship alone as a sister to my onli sibling.
its just too much for me to bear it all.
I dun hate my mum for not being around me &my bro all this while.
I'm not mad at her for taking off just like tt.
I just hate her for not showering us with th love a mother shud give
her children.
I despise her for doing th same mistake over &over again.
I'm angry at her for not treating herself properly.
so much for being a mum to her kids but not being there to raise them up.
Labels: finally