why must it be tish way..?? :( ♥
I'm so heartbroken by eUu
Why must it be tish way? wat have i done wrong to euu?? :( I am so heart broken...so hurt...well maybe I have done sumthing tat might have hurt euu till euu have the heart to do tish to me..I guess tat we just dun click tat well...*crying alone* I am so heart broken..by the two of euu..ouhwells~ maybe I do wanna end the thingy tat ish happening between us cuz I dun have the courage to let euu see the real me...I realli feel inferior of myself..I am so sorry if I ever hurt euu by making euu wait fer me..but I realli dun mean to end it tish way fer us...I've got no other options..I've got no other choices...I'm left alone in the dark..without any source of light to brighten up ma life...I was hurt...I am hurt...I am heartbroken by the ones tat I cared fer..the ones tat I loved..the ones tat are truly dear to me...the wound in ma heart ish so deep...it ish impossible to heal in the closest time possible...it will need to take its own time to heal..cuz I am still trying to heal the wound tat was once hurt by the person whom I trusted most...the person whom I care fer most..the person who was there fer me wen I needed her..the wound ish still in the process of healing...sumtimes I can still feel the pain wenever I walk pass the person hu cause all of tish..becoz of him I am hurt...becoz of him she chooses to broke it..but I dun think tat I can be selfish..cuz everyone has their own rights...so does she and so does he..if tat ish her decision, den I am considered a NOBODY to stop her..I am no one to hold her back...I cried every single time I think bout the incident tat happen to us during tat moment...mygosh! I was so disappointed...so so disappointed..haiz..well hu am I to her rite..I may just be another one of her normal frens tat she might hang around with...*ya allah..tolong berikan kekuatan kepada hamba mu ini untuk menghadapi segala rintangan yang kau akan limpah kan kepada ku..* I feel tat its best fer us to end it now rather than dragging it on without any clue of where are we actually heading towards in tish relationship..I hope euu understand..well I take it tat its over fer us..so I guess tat tish ish the end fer us..so here ish one more GOODBYE from me to euu...i wish tat I cud cry but den again...my tears wud mean nothing to euu rite..so I just hope tat euu will find sumone better than me..and I hope tat euu will be happy with tat person..good bye my dear... :'(
*I hope tat eUu will find
the other better half of ur life..
I guess tat eUu cnt be the one
hu can watch over me... :(
GoOdbye my dear..hope eUu
will have a better life without
me...bye my dear... :(*
10:47:00 pm
in the color of grace.
watched X-men||| alreadi!! ♥
X-Men 3 was soOoO shOiK!!
wOoOoOOhOOoOo!! I lurve watching x-men 3...its was so fun yet there's a part where it was so touching..the part where Prof. X was killed by Jean Grey and the ending...OhMygAwd! It was so syOik mayn!! feel like watching it again...but ouhwells~ plan to watch these two movies>>Just My luck & Garfield...plan to watch Garfield on my bro's bifdae...ahakz..den we can all go out and celebrate it with him...den maybe we all shud go ECP...den at there can SABO him like hell.. :) ouh mayn..cant wait...heex...yesh I realli had fun watching x-men 3...ahkz..just simply lurve it to bits..
*I do care fer eUu now..
Now I do understand the
meaning of loving sumone
wholeheartedly... :)
cuz tats how I feel bout
eUu...my dear.. :)*
9:52:00 am
in the color of grace.
ML paper ish OveR!! ♥
YaYy!! FinIsh MT PaPeR aLreaDi!! wOoHoo!
YaYynEss! Ohmygawd! I still cant believe tat I have just sat fer my OLevel mother tongue paper tish morning...heex :) was so nervous till I cant think straight...haiz..wat to do..guess I did lotsa careless mistakes...sure gonna have to sit fer the paper again...haiz..guess tat I'm bound to repeat the whole of sec 4 again next but tish time round as a sec 5 student... :( but I cant...cuz I have made apromise to ma teddy tat I will pass my examiinations no matter wat...and I have to get into the poly tat I choose...ouhwells~ gotta do wat I outta do...dun wanna let those hu supports me all the way thru...weeeeeeeeeeee! :)
9:43:00 am
in the color of grace.
2 weeks have passed by!! ♥
iTs OuR aNnIveRsarY tOdAY
hey ya...well its our 2 weeks anniversary today...ahakz..oka..I noe tat I'm lame...but just wanna celebrate or sumthing...hahas...was so excited bout it...heex... :) ouhwells~wat to do...he's the one tat has capture ma heart...hehes...*giggles* yea..say it...say tat I'm crazy...I'm lame....I'm insane...but I dun give a f**king damn bout it as long as I did mention about our anniversary...well gotta go now...bubbye..
*No matter wat come between us
we'll always stay together as one
and I do believe in eUu...
Even if one day we are apart from each
other, eUu will always be remembered
and will always be in ma heart.. :)*
4:11:00 am
in the color of grace.
[me.&.ma.teddy.bear] ♥
[mE.&.mA.tEdDy.bEaR]
Heys..Its Saturday today...there's like 36 hours to countdown before we sit fer our MT OLevel paper...ouh gosh!! still cnt believe it tat I'm sitting fer one of my OLevel paper alreadi...ouh mayn!! I am sooooo nervous..haiz..realli do hope tat I can go to the poly of my choice...I realli wanna make my mum proud of me fer the first time...and tish time ITS FER REAL!! cuz my mum keep on saying tat I'm doing nothing about my OLevel...and I realli wanna make my daddy happy...hehex.. :) ouh wells~ enuff bout tat, I'm now on my way to going to paradise..heex..haiz..still confused as to where all of tish gonna go...I like so bingung as I maself dun even noe where the hell am I standing in his life..I dun even noe if he realli regard me as sumone he realli cares fer and sumone whom he will realli appreciate...but ouhwells~ I cnt think bout tish matter at a moment like tish cuz I have to concentrate on my OLevel tat I am going to sit fer tish Monday...haiz..wadeva it ish I'm just gonna let nature takes its own course... :)
*Do eUu realli care fer me?
Do eUu realli take me as who
I regard eUu as?
Please give me sum clues and
sum answer to tish questions of mine..
tankieUu fer everything.. :)*
3:00:00 am
in the color of grace.
My results!! ♥
My PoOr rEsUlts
Haiz..just got back my results just now..ouh btw I'm like on the phone with Mak Jah rite now..heex..no lah..its Tjah..hehex..was toking to her bout sumthings..ahakz...well my results fer MYE was soooooooo HORRIBLE!! f**k mayn..failed 4 subjects in all...well as expected, I'm so gonna be DOOM fer my OLevels..haiz../was planning not to show my parents bout my results yet..was planning to show them onli on the last week of the holidays...haiz..I'm feeling soo guilty...guess gonna blog again later..wanna go makan fer a while... :)
*I am happy tat I am sumone to eUu..
I am glad tat eUu do have a place
reserved fer me in ur heart...
I am so grateful to have eUu by me..
I oso have a place fer eUu in my heart..
May we always be together... :)*
8:32:00 pm
in the color of grace.
went crazy coz i was so stress up..~ ♥
Haiz...went crazy cuz i was so stress up...shtupid sia..he majok again!! f**k la..i mean why are guys nowadays so the like a 'bunge'?? so easily merajok...and wen he merajok, OMG its worst den i do...haiz..well wadeva la..i will till eUu have cOol down den i will tok to eUu...wadeva la..btw had fun with Zara today as we all went kuku..haiz..took neoprint with her today...so here it ish...enjoy... :)
6:58:00 pm
in the color of grace.
i'm dead tired mayn!! ♥
TiRed!!
I'm so god damn tired la..cuz I just reached home from ECP..heex.. :) Well
the gurls decided to go out to ECP to go mandi there at the beach..so since I'm like so f**ked up and was so hyper today (which i dunnoe why either)..so me and Zara reached ECP first den follwed by Mar and Faiz...and lastly was Jann...me and Zara was like so confused and we were oso not in the very 'happy' mood either..haish all cuz of our 'pendeks' la...but I'm glad tat me and him are back as per normal...and I'm so happy..but I'm worried fer Zara..[gurl, dun worry, if u need a shoulder to cry on, mine will always be there fer tish sis of mine..(: ] ouhwells~ forget bout tat..one things fer sure, WE HAD FUN TODAY!! we swam in the beach...was so god damn fun la..Jann spoiler arr, she nvr bring her spare clothes..haish...but ouh wells~ we still had fun though..Zara made me teach her how to float in the water...but den she didnt manage to do it..heex.. :) nvm Zara..the next time we go there fer a swim again, I'll make sure tat u can float in the water liao..ahakz.. :0 haish..Me and Zara are like so confused...we had the same probs...though mine ish over, hers ish still on the rocks..haiz..but the thing tat I'm confused ish the thingy (well u noe la wat i'm toking bout..right Zara..?) ish happening right now...but dun worry if u're sad and need sumone to cheer u up, come find me at any time of the day aights..cuz I'll always be there fer my sis...hehex.. :0..kes..gtg now..cuz i need to get everything done and i wanna go to bed ASAP... :)
*I'm realli happy and excited
tat we are back together as
per normal again..I'm so so so
grateful to have eUu by my side..
I'm realli fortunate to have eUu
there fer me right at tish moment..
So I'm sorry if I ever did any thing
to have hurt ur feelings..lurve ya my dear*
11:38:00 am
in the color of grace.
I'm stress!! ♥
I am so stressed up!!
F**k up mayn..I'm like so stress up la rite now..I mean wat did I do to receive treatment like tish?? tell me..wen did I ever LIE to eUu?? wth..its so unfair to me..its like I'm the one hu keeps giving in to eUu and ur nonsense..wat have I done to eUu to be treated like tish?? please understand ma feelings toO cans...okay if I'm in the wrong den fine..I shall apologise..I'm sorry..I'm realli sorry kes..please try and understand wat I'm going thru right now..its not tat I dun wanna concentrate on us...but I wanna concentrate on ma studies first..I realli need to pass with flying colours fer tish MT O level paper..I realli hope tat eUu will understand and be considerate with me..haish..but if eUu still intend to keep urself quiet den I gt nothing else to say..coz I have said more than enuff...but I realli hope tat we can be like how we used to be...I realli hope so...please please forgive me...I'm so sorry my dear...I truly am...
*I hate the feeling of missing eUu..
I realli hate the feeling of losing eUu..
but why dun eUu just get it till now?
I realli hope tat everything ish going to
be fine..and not like how I fear tat it's
gonna be..right my dear..??*
9:05:00 pm
in the color of grace.
the phOtOs we tOok!! ♥
tHe pHoTos Tat wE tOoK... :)
hEaVeN & hELL corpz. tts us..heex.. :)
hEaVeN & hELL corpz. Zara, Mar, Jann & ME~ :)
hEaVeN & hELL corpz. its uS aGain..we rAwkz! :)
hEaVeN & hELL corpz. gUrLs rUleS tHe uNivErSe!! :)
7:04:00 pm
in the color of grace.
Pictures again.. :) ♥
Pictures Of Sum Things Tat Light Up My Life
tts
DAFFY DUCK..ahakx my fav.. :)
Flowers lite up my life tOo.. :)
White Roses are my fav.. :) Orchids too lite up my life..lurve it.. :)
Flowers again...well cnt help it..just lurve them lots!! :)
6:39:00 am
in the color of grace.
i'm freaking pissed with sum peepz!! ♥
I'm like freaking pissed off with sum peeps la..i mean they just vent their angers towards me fer no bloody good reason!! WTF!! well i noe tat they are not in a good mood, but so am i..i oso have been in a very bad mood lately...well everyone has his/her own problems right!! but tat doesn't give them the rights to just vent their angers onto me...i have my feelings and patience too!! and, there's a LIMIT to my patience!! If u really piss me off to my LIMIT, well just watch out...cuz i cnt guarantee and be responsible fer my actions later on!! well i just feel like i wanna just SHOOT them right straight in their faces!!! but yet they dare to just vent their angers onto me!! heLLLOOOO!! i'm a human being too okaes!! and i myself have my own personal problems...why do u peeps KEEP hurting me time again and again?? wat the hell wrong tat i have done to u peepz?? haiz..dunnoe la..not in the mood to tok much right now..well just hope tat tish entry of mine cn relieve sum of my frustrations fer now..well tats all...i just hate my life!! and i really hate the peepz in my life tat KEEPS giving me problems and conflicts!!
4:03:00 pm
in the color of grace.
siLly tHingS.. ♥
Instructions:-
- Tagged victim are to come up with 8 different points of his/her PERFECT lover.
- Mention the gender of his/her PERFECT lover.
- Tag 8 victims to join tish game and leave a comment on their blog.
- If you are tagged fer the second time, there's no need fer u to do tish AGAIN.
- Last but not least:- HAVE FUN DOING IT!!
My 8 points fer a PERFECT lover :-
- He MUST accept me fer hu I am, and not fer hu he wants me to be.
- He MUST not control my LIFE! HELL NO!
- Knows how to make me feel happy and cheer me up wen i'm feeling down. and can be my listening ears at ANY time of the day. heex.
- Must be a caring, fun, loving, kind-hearted, understanding, sweet, easy-going, out-going, TRUSTWORTHY, joker, supportive of my decisions in life.
- NOT A BIG FLIRT!! NOT A CHEATER!! NOT A LIAR!! NOT A JERK!! AND NOT LETTING HIS EGO GET THE BETTER OF HIM!!
- Strongly believes in our religion[ISLAM] so tat he can guide me thru the right path.
- RESPECT MY FAMILY! ESP my daddy and my mummy..and knows how to 'ambil hati mereka'...
- Last but not least, he mustn't be fickle-minded, not a hot-tempered guy and must know how to handle conflicts tat might come our way..
[Gender:- MALE]
[Victims]
>Tiers
>Chermaine
>Baolin
>Tijah
>Fazlina
>Luqman
>Marzura
>Shasha
4:53:00 pm
in the color of grace.
The LyriCs fer my sOng ♥
Close To EuU
Why do birds suddenly appear
Everytime you are near ?
Just like me,
They long to be close to you
Why do stars fall down from the sky
Everytime you walk by
Just like me,
They long to be close to you
From the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moondust in your hair
Of gold, and starlight in your eyes of blue
Ah, that is why the girls in town
Follow you all around
Just like me,
They long to be close to you
Just like me,
They long to be close to you
Just like me,
They long to be close to you
From the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moondust in your hair
Of gold, and starlight in your eyes of blue
Ah, that is why the girls in town
Follow you all around
Just like me,
They long to be close to you
Like me, like me, like me
I wanna be close to you
Woo, ah, close to you
Woo, me too
I wanna be close to you
Ooh, i wanna be, me too
I wanna be close to you
From the day that you were born
The angels got together
A dream come true
That's you, that's you
And i wanna be close to you
[Sang by:- Diana Ross]
9:27:00 pm
in the color of grace.
its his bifdae!! ♥
Well guess wat?! Today ish his bifdae...well did wish him
a happy bifdae yesterday @ 12am...actually i almost forget bout his
bifdae...ahakx..tanx to my phone cuz i it remind me bout it...
yea i oso forget tat i have save his bifdae date in my phone..ahakx..
how amusing!! well guess tat the end of everything about him,
me and everything...well its not tat i want to be reminded boout him
or anything..its just tat of everything tat i see, listen and
think are all about him...well he left me with lotsa memories of him...
all the things tat we talked bout on the phone...the msges tat
he sent me are very sweet and it did left an impact in my life...he did
gave a an impression on wat he's like and wat i can do watever
tat i want to do and achieve in life...but den again no matter wat i did
or wat i say, it will onli be a waste coz i'm very aware from the
very beginning tat all of this ish will onli lasted fer a short period of
time onli..i'm very aware tat he will not like the real me..as in
'the real' me..not my character or attitude but...well u shud noe bout
it...well tats just me..cuz i'm inferior of myself...i dun have
the confidence to commit myself to a relationship as i noe it will definitely
come to and end...coz relationship in our stage of age are all
false hopes and puppy love..true love at our age are all BULLSHIT!!
there's no true love no matter wat u say.....as i dun believe in
true love fer now....I'm just hoping tat everything will be as simple as
can be...and time will prove everything and decide everything
fer now....................................
-13/05/2006-
5:57:00 pm
in the color of grace.
my day yesterday.... ♥
WeLL yesterday was the EnD of oUr MYE!! yeSh maYn finall it is over!! how amazing...but must still remember tat i can only take a short brake coz MT Olevels are nearing...haish...still cnt believe tat i'm gonna sit fer my Os tish year...well yesterday after our mYe last paper, which is the MCQs, 4c 4d & 4e had to go to temasek room to get back our English paper 2..ahakz..guess wat!! i pass my English.....wOoOOoHooOOOo!! i'm so happy mayn....yeah!! but still have got to wait fer our paper 1..ouh mayn...tats wat fears me most is tat i will get back bad results..i dun want to get back anymore bad results, except fer maths & science, i wish tat my MT, English, F&N and & combined humanities are going to be goOd results....i dun wish to fail every single time...furthermore it nearing to our prelims alreadi...my goSh!! why izit soOo fast mayn...
So after tat went straight home with tjah...went online and do all the checking fer my blog, frenster and emails....was so bored...den at ard 11plus tjah called and ask me to accompany her to go buy her mum a Mother's Day gift...well since i was oso planning to get my mum sumthing, i might as well go and search fer it...so we plan to meet at the Tanjong Katong Complex as she wanted to get her mum a selendang...so i get mu mum a selendang too, and i gt a set of brooch fer my godmum and i gt a long scaft fer my stepmum...heex..wHoa! i didn't noe tat i gt a lot of mum sey..hehex..ahakz..den we headed down to PP to shop-shop again...well went to Kalm's to get a matching gift box fer the selendang tat i bought fer my mum...ahakz..the person hu serves us at tat place was so uber frendly...ahakz.. :)...den we went down to chamelon as i want to get a head band fer myself..i bought two in fact..one pink and the othey ish turquiose...den went fer lunch at KFC...in KFC we were planning to go to bugis to catch the movie 'AQUAMARINE' abt the mermaid thingy...but unfortunately the movie wasn't shown in bugis...so after tat we found ourselves at ECP as our feets walk us to tat place..so we sat at the beach...talk and talk and talk bout our lives...tjah talk bout her regrets bout tish thingy...den it was dark alreadi..so we decided to go back now...tjah made me accompany her take 135 together and she promise to walk with me to the skool bus-stop...by den it was alreadi 8 plus..ahakz..hu cares aniwaes...exams are over mah.. :p
Wen i reaches home, my feets are aching after walking fer, god noes how many miles,....went online fer a while..but den i was so sleepy so just lie on my uber comfy bed and went to my LALA Land..ahakz..well tats all i guess....but was so fun though...very tiring yet its worth it..heex.. :)
12:48:00 pm
in the color of grace.