♥Tuesday, August 15, 2006
fcuk her! ♥
Kes seriously I wasn't in the mood to blog now... but I cant held it back much longer.. I realli need to vent my anger sumwhere.. Noe wat? my mum was being so fcuking unreasonable with me just now.. wads her fcuking problem mayn?!? wad have I done to piss her off?! am I realli tat BAD in her eyes?! she like venting her anger on me wen she ish like literally pissed with my bro... like wad the fcuk!! arrrggghhhh! to add to tat, she even locked me outside of the house wen I came back after sending Jann to the bus stop!! wad the hell ish wrong with her brain sia!!!! I mean I didnt go out like before maghrib.. I actually make the effort to wait fer the azan maghrib to end before I sent Jann to the bus stop... ARRRRRRGGGGHHH!! wad ish actually her problem with me mayn?!! why ish she doing tish to me?!? Kes as I was so fcuking pissed, I decided to call my dad hoping tat he wud understand my situation but wad did I get from him? AN UNREASONABLE SCOLDING!!! waliao! wassup with the parents nowadays mayn! scolding their children fer no god damn bloody good reason!!! den I just hang up the call even as my dad was like still talking on the phone.. I felt like crying at tat point of time but held it back.. den I msged Jann and my bro.. I was seriously scolding my bro cuz if it were not cuz of him I wudn't be in this state!! If it were not fer him and his attitude, my mum wudn't be unreasonable with me fer no bloody good reason!! I dun care whether he ish my bro or not at tat point of time.. all the vulgarities were literally coming out of my mouth!!! I was freaking pissed with all of them la.. my mum, my dad and my freaking irritating bro!!!!! den i had no choice but had to sit at the staircase.. cuz i left my wallet in my room.. so had no cash or bus fare to like go sumwhere!! while sitting at the staircase, I felt all the rage building up in me!! At tat moment, I felt like running away from home... but where cud I go? I just realised tat no one wants to take care of me animore.. not even my own biological father!! wad more my foster parents!! All I cud do was to cry... those tears HAD to flow out of my eyes again today, even after trying my best to held them back fer like 2++ weeks... but I cnt.. I just cnt.. I felt like if I were to held it back longer, I wud just explode inside... Ouh God! why are you being so unfair to me? wad have I done in the past to has a fate and destiny like tish? Why must you torture me like tish?! well I cnt blame God solely.. my biological parents weren't even serious wen they were having me... yerpz.. tats the fact tat I got to find out from my foster parents.. I dunnoe whether its ture or not but my foster father sort of like slip his mouth by saying tat wen my biological mum had an 'accident' which resulted in having me.. like wtf!!! k fine since no one actually care bout WAD I feel? HOW I am doing? WAD I am thinking? WHY I have to suffer like tish? I shall prove to them tat I am NOT.. I repeat AM NOT as useless as they think I am.. I am so gonna prove them WRONG.. heard tat? PROVE THEM WRONG!!!!
1:12:00 pm
in the color of grace.
